Guides Discussion on my Fear of Failure

I share this with you because I am not the only one that has failed at many things and find myself afraid to be exactly who I am. I am taking steps and have made huge strides over the last year, but underneath is this nagging fear. For me my fear of failure, makes it so I stop myself.

A guide came to me today, she was young and Korean with a beautiful light around her. She had this etheric quality. She told me that she had things to tell me, that I should pay attention and write them down. Her strong tone got my attention.

You have a fearful soul when it comes to success. Do you know why this is? You were not allowed to fail. Your attempts were laughed at and it bruised your tender soul. You shined so brightly with an innocence that most did not understand. and you were unable to laugh at yourself. You've put yourself in a box of pass/fail and forgot to enjoy the journey.

You have a choice, you can stay in that place of limited definition or you can expand and encompass all that is. You have your dreams and desires, they are large. Do you have the courage to follow them? To take them? To turn your back on your fears? I think you do. When you doubt look at how far you have come, look at the obstacles you placed in your path that you have trampled over. This fear, it is nothing. Look it in the eye and tell it that you will succeed. Change your definition of success. Don't view your life through a 3D lens. Instead view your success through your experiences. True success is learning and growing, not only in outward expression to the world. So many have large outward expressions but they are empty inside. Do not judge your success by these characteristics.

I don't know what to do.

You do, do what makes your heart happy. Create for the sake of creating. You will see it all unfold for you. You must have the courage to be all that you are, your true self in things, in the face of all scrutiny. This is your time. Can you feel it? Remove that webbing of fear from around you as this old programming is no longer who you are.

Is it a cord?

No, it is a webbing you have wrapped tightly around yourself. (I look down and see myself covered in a spiders web, she pushes it away from my face, and mostly off my head). You would get a glimpse out, your heart would soar and then an obstacle would appear and you retreated behind the webbing. Take it off child, take it off.

How do I do that?

By stepping into who you are. By accepting that you hold great light and the world criticizes what it can't understand. That it is not a reflection on you, but on them. Release it and let it go. Don't allow layers to be added to the webbing, instead through each bold move, each act of determination, each act of being exactly who you are, let the layers weaken and fall to your feet.

You are beautiful, let the world see it. It needs souls with open hearts full of love. Go, be wonderful, we need you.

With that, she was gone. I now understand and will choose to release myself from the webbing I created to protect my soul.

Galactic Brotherhood - 12/12 Choice Portal, Quan Yin 12/9/14

I would like to talk to you today about the 12/12 portal. We are calling this the portal of choice. At this time you have a choice to remain within the duality of your planet or to step from the traditional beliefs into oneness. For those that are ready, this portal will see big changes in your thinking and in how you react to the world around you. When you have made these changes within you will see them mirrored in those around you.

We understand that to remove yourself from duality is a difficult step. It is to turn your back on everything you have known and been taught. You will no longer see the differences in yourself in comparison to others as highlighted by your reigning religions and governments. Instead, you will be able to see parts of yourself in every person you encounter. You will also begin to see the true source of all beings, their soul. When you are able to see this, you will find it difficult to condemn and highlight differences among people. By stepping out of duality you will begin to see the absolute beauty of life on earth. You will see it for what it is, a great place for learning and experiencing ALL THAT IS.  You will see the beauty in the lessons people have chosen and the roles they have experienced. By being able to see the soul source of all beings, you will see that darkness is just a role within the matrix, a chosen experience. Just as the light is a chosen experience within the matrix as well. You will be able to return to your true nature which is one of neutrality and love. 

Once you choose to leave duality behind you will be able to allow others to experience their life as they have chosen without feeling the need to change them. You will see all as it is, perfect. Each thing, each event, each action is perfectly designed for the soul to get the knowledge and lesson that was agreed upon before your sojourn to earth. When you see the perfectness in all of creation, you will serve as a guide to others. You will be the beacon that they seek, as your energy is one of peaceful neutrality. Many will seek the comfort of a non-Judgemental guide. You will be able to show an alternative way of being, but understand and have compassion for those not ready to follow the path before them. 

Understand that being neutral does not mean that you lack compassion. In fact, your compassion will only increase, you will feel love and understanding for both the victim and the perpetrator. You will understand and be able to see the beauty and lessons in both roles. You will innately understand the contracts that both are fulfilling so that their soul growth is accomplished. 

Should you choose to leave duality behind during the 12-12 portal, you will be tested. You could be tested through personal lessons and by the world at large. We ask that you always remember that all are divine beings of light at their core. By remembering that earth is a place where souls have come to experience duality and learn their chosen lessons, it will be easier to remain neutral. 

We are very pleased at the number of souls that are preparing to leave duality. It is a testimate to the amount of work people have done within themselves.

That is all for now, 

Quan Yin

Galactic White Brotherhood - The Illusion of duality and the Hologram of Earth - Sananda - 12-2-14

I want to clear up some confusion about your existence on earth, the hologram you've created and the illusion. The true illusion on earth that exists is duality and separation. You are not separate from one another nor are you separate from source.

Each of you chose to come to earth, some of you have made this choice for countless lifetimes while others have had only one. Upon deciding to come to earth, a plan is made and a hologram of your world is created. It is within this hologram that your lessons and experiences are created.  Within each hologram are parts that have been co-created and there is also a part of the collective consciousnesses of the whole. Upon entering the hologram you consent to being a part of the duality experiment. Your task has been to see through this illusion of duality and reunite with your true self.

Many call the hologram of your existence on earth an illusion, and in one way it is, however until you choose to leave earth you will be part of this hologram. For those that have been able to see through the illusion of separation, life does become less stressful. It is not that life will drastically change, it is your reaction that will have changed. It is in your peaceful knowing that all that happens is always in your highest good. Seeing through duality will not change the lessons you came to learn but it will change the world around you. You will understand that all are learning their chosen lessons. You will see that the extremes being played out are not a grand battle of good vs evil, but duality coming to an end. With the gap between perceived good and evil so wide, many will find that the peaceful path is the one of observation and non-judgement. It is understanding that you have the capacity to be all aspects of humanity from the darkest to the lightest. With that knowledge, it is hard to judge another for the lessons they came to learn.

As more and more people are becoming in-tune with their higher guidance and intuition, the tendency to look down upon those in duality needs to be avoided. Each person has their own lessons to learn, and the degree of difficulty varies per person. Some are participating in duality as their purpose is to play the part of extremes to help others see the distortion. Once you have fully stepped from the illusion of duality, give gratitude for those still participating. It is their contribution that has helped you and others see that it is non-judgement and observation that brings peace.

While the hologram of your existence on earth could also be considered and illusion, we ask that you not see it in those terms. You are participating in a learning experiment to advance soul growth. Your personal hologram was created to be very real and to help you achieve your desired goals. Upon dissolving the illusion of separation from source, you will still be in the hologram of your creation until you choose to step out of it. To look at your life and call it an illusion is to negate the incredible work you have done. It has been explained that life is like a play that one creates then participates in. Figuring out that you are in fact the author of your play and resuming the deep connection with your soul should not make you look upon life as an illusion but a masterpiece that you have created. It is to be applauded and looked upon with gratitude for the growth it has provided you. For those not ready to understand the significance of the hologram they have created, to be told their life is an illusion is harmful. It is better to empower others to resuming their place as the authors of their play. To help them to see through the illusion of duality and victim hood and to understand that they are souls mastering their life.

Go in love for one another.
Sananda


*As with all channelings, use discernment. What does your heart say when you read this? If it does not resonate, just discard it. We each have our own truth.

Galactic White Brotherhood - You are the pioneers - Quan Yin 11/18/14

I come to you today to ask you, why are you so hard on yourselves? We see your daily struggles with the energy that is coming in at this time. This energy is relentless and is helping to strip you of all that no longer serves. This is a painful process, as all you have believed and known is being stripped from you. It is a time of much confusion, physical pains, and often despair. Anything that needs to be released will be triggered so that you can view what needs to be released. During this time, letting go of these aspects must be a conscious act. You must choose day to day, moment to moment to think and do differently than you have ever done before. This is no easy feat and we are amazed at your progress. We are also dumbfounded at the number of you that make this process much more difficult by berating yourselves.

Many think they are moving too slow or that when they experience the pain of release that they have done something wrong. You look to excuses as to why you feel poorly. You ask yourself, have you done something wrong or not done enough light body work or even if your struggling is some karmic debt or past life issue. Stop. Understand that at its basic nature this process is difficult, even painful. You have done nothing wrong, but everything right to be involved in this process at this phase. You are the forerunners, the ones that are creating pathways for other souls to follow.

Think on the explorers and pioneers going into uncharted territory. They had no idea what they would encounter on a daily basis and often failed or floundered as much as they succeeded. These pioneers expected to encounter strange lands, animals, people's and unknown hazards. You are much like these adventurers, for you are blazing into unknown territory. You are turning the human body into a crystalline structure, activating parts of your brain that have been dormant and becoming multidimensional. You are going into unknown territory. Instead of cursing the new pains, challenges and changes, understand that it means you have entered a new territory, a new frontier.

You will use trial and error and find what works best for you. Your task is large, for you must not only go through the physical changes, you must go through the mental pain of letting go. Releasing old beliefs and programming is done in layers. What you consider taking a step backwards and having to heal the same issue again, we see as progress. You have heard this healing process be compared to an onion, it is a good analogy. With each layer the issues you must heal are brought to the surface again. The closer you get to the core, the more intensified the aspects needing healed. The layers are smaller and you don't feel that there is much of a break between issues coming forward for releasing. Do you see now how the further you come, the more pain you may experience? We urge you to understand that this means you are making significant progress and are not far from your core, your true self, not hindered by programming, beliefs, and fears. This process has not been completed in the physical form before. You are indeed pioneers.

We ask that you please treat yourselves with love and respect. Respect for the amazing task you have agreed to and are completing at an incredible pace. Have compassion for yourself and do not fear that you are doing something wrong. Each of you will find your own way, your own path, as each of you are beautifully different. There is no wrong in this process.

Be at peace,
Quan Yin

Galactic white brotherhood - 11–11 portal - Quan Yin

I would like to talk to you about the 11–11 portal. This is an exciting time as many of you are seeing huge changes within yourself. Yet, others are feeling stuck and weary. This is based on your perceptions. We ask that each of you write down your insights and experiences from day to day. When you look back, even month to month you will be astounded by the changes you are making. You will see the shifts in your perception and it will give you an opportunity to see what is working in your life and what is not. What things bring you joy and what things need to be let go of.

These portals are opportunities for you to propel yourself forward if you are ready to surrender the need to control. True surrendering is accepting what is by changing your definitions of things and aspects of your life. Often you have labeled things as good or bad and limit your joy by your perceptions. 

This particular portal or gateway will begin on 11–11 and last for a few days after. Make notes of what you experience, dream, and how you are thinking and feeling. The solar flares that are coming into earth right now are magnifying areas in your life that need attention. It will magnify areas in your life that need to change and likewise you will find that the things that bring you joy are magnified as well. These are your guideposts pointing you in the correct direction. Solar flares can be physically uncomfortable for the body. Many experience headaches, body aches, changes in sleep patterns, and anxiety. For those who are particularly sensitive you will sense certain chakras being opened, cleared and expanded. This two to be uncomfortable. We ask that you go into a place of gratitude because these feelings mean the changes are happening within. It is important to release as much as you can during this time. What is completely released will not follow you into the portal. 

It is a time for new beginnings as many of you are merging from your cocoon and are ready to be the beacon of light that you have become. Shine that light with love for all of the world to see and follow. Embrace your joy and allow source energy to work through you. Many are just awakening and will need assistance but more importantly hope. Hope that you can give them that the journey has been worth it, even with all the difficulty and changes each of you have experienced. They will need the gentle reassurance that this too shall pass. 

For many this gateway will see you exploring your place in the multi-verse. Through connection with your highest self, you will begin to remember who you are and why you chose to assist the earth and mankind during this incredible time. You will be receiving upgrades to your Lightbody and chakra system. These upgrades will allow you to move one step further in releasing old programming that keeps you from remembering your divine nature. Again, we ask that you chart your progress. This will help you release lingering doubts and beliefs which is essential for becoming your I AM presence.

We ask but your approach this portal and the upcoming one with excitement and anticipation for the growth you are experiencing. Many of you are impatient, wanting more and at a faster pace. We understand but ask that you view all of your growth as a whole, you will then be amazed at how much you have released and let go of in such a short time. We are thrilled with your accomplishments and are in awe of all that has been completed.

Go in joy,

Quan Yin

Galactic White Brotherhood - Life Purpose - Quan Yin 11-5-14

I want to talk to you today about your life purpose. It's the main question that many of you have. The answer is simple, Be Joy. Find the things in life that bring you joy and follow them. In every moment do your best to find your center and radiate joy from your being. All of you have this task as your basic purpose, how you obtain and keep this emotion is as individual as water droplets in the sea.

While this purpose is simple, obtaining and being joy is anything but simple. Many of you have charted difficult lives and circumstances. It has therefore become your first challenge to maintain the frequency of joy in the midst of chaos. Many of you are thinking, how can I feel joy, happiness when my body is stressed with the task of ascending. The is change your perspective. How do you view your surroundings? How do you visualize joy looking? Do you believe that you must be joyous in every moment in order to be successful? We ask that you stop placing such limitations on yourself. When you feel joyous, light, and happy make a note of what you are doing. Soon you will see a pattern. If in the beginning you feel joy only 10% of the time, don't worry, instead be grateful for those moments and work on obtaining 11% joy the next day.

Many of you have even placed limitations on what you allow to bring you joy. In your quest of self-realization, some of you have become too serious and have lost your zest for life. While spirituality and finding self is a noble cause is should not make you lose perspective of who you are. You are first and foremost a being experiencing physical reality. Find what brings you joy, excitement and passion without the filter of judgement. Too think that something is not spiritual and therefore beneath you is a function of ego. Your job is to find your joy and interject your light into that area. Many of you have shunned politics by saying it is corrupt and not spiritual, if it was once your passion your new-found sense of self should not change that rather enhance it so that you bring love into politics. This is how we create the new world. Through your connection to source all around you will be impacted positively. You do not fight the dark but rather change it by shining your light and following your passion.

There are many that feel that in order to be spiritual you must forgo the frivolous. I assure you, nothing is frivolous. If it brings you happiness, then you are filled with light that spreads to all those around. It doesn't matter if you are playing sports, playing in a sandbox, or having dinner with friends. Examine your beliefs, what are the things you told yourself are fine to do verses what you have deemed improper or beneath you while on this path. Where did those beliefs come from? Listen to your inner self, you will know when you are not in the flow of joy.  When this occurs examine your beliefs and return to center.

Often to feel joy a change of perspective is needed. There will always be tasks that are mundane and that you would rather not do. It is your choice to complete them with positivity or to view the entire experience from a negative point of view. When you slip into the negative, find a way to change your thinking in order to return to center and experience the flow of joy. Your light is very valuable, what brings you joy increases your light.

This is all for now,
Quan Yin

What I learned from my body

You can't tell it that it's fat, ugly, or that you hate it and expected not to retaliate. You have to listen to your body, not suppress warning signs and expect all to be fine.

My first major lesson was in 2010. I was having chronic back pain that I blamed on a spinal fusion and severe headaches that I blamed on a stressful job. I was exhausted and at the end of my rope feeling extremely stressed. I blamed it on trying to raise three kids, my job, and a chronic pain condition. Who wouldn't feel like crap with all that going on.

It all changed the day I took one of the kids to our family doctor and he noticed that something was very wrong. He did a basic neurological exam and called the neurosurgeon he like best and got me an appointment for the next day. I went to the appointment and they did a CT scan and saw right away but I was in major trouble. They didn't understand how I was still walking. The bone graft from my spinal fusion has slipped and tore into my cerebral fluid column. I had a significant leak and the fluid was pooling at the base of my spine. That explains the severe headaches, back pain and the anxiety I was feeling. My body was screaming "Pay attention to me!" They said that if the bone graft had moved further I would've been paralyzed. I was in surgery within days and spent almost a month in a nursing home. The nerve damage was significant and I live with chronic nerve pain in varying degrees since then. You would think that I would form a great relationship with my body at this point. I did start to listen to the body's signs and have done my best to live a healthy life. 

Today, I got another wake up call. I have been experiencing hair loss, scalp tenderness, and sores. I went to the dermatologist who did a biopsy. This morning I went into the office for the results. It was a slap in the face to hear that I have an autoimmune dis-ease that leads to scarring of the skin where hair will not grow again. She said is in the very beginning phases and she thinks we can get the inflammation and pain under control. I was dumbstruck. Haven't I've been eating right, walking, losing weight, paying attention to the body? How did this happen?

Then it hit me, autoimmune disease is our essentially the body attacking itself. My body is attacking itself in a very noticeable way, through hair loss that could lead to baldness. My body was only doing what it had been told to do by me all these years. It was hating itself, destroying itself. How many times have I said "I hate my body", "I hate my hair", "I look ugly", "I'm fat". How many times have I verbally attacked myself for my looks? Is it that strange to think that the body decided to answer that call? It decided to do exactly what I've been saying. It was giving me a body to hate, hair to lose, and more reason to feel ugly. Make no mistake, the universe is always listening and responding and mirroring our thoughts.

I have to take a step back and really look at where these feelings of self hate started. Did it start when I gained so much weight with children? No, I think that was just a symptom. I think like most deep hurts, it started in my childhood. Maybe it was the feeling that only if I was thin and pretty what I be worthy of love. Maybe it was hearing my dad call my mom ugly during fights and she in turn would say similar things to yourself. Is this the legacy I too have left for my girls?

Has hearing me say that I hate myself set them up for a life of self depreciation? It's possible. All I can do now is heal that inner child, that beautiful girl with the big brown eyes who absorbed too much of others pain and then unleashed the fury on herself. All I can do now is set a new example for my children, one of self-love. 

For the past few years I have worked hard on loving myself and not accepting other peoples junk. I am no longer a doormat standing with open arms begging for love from others only to be used and hurt. I learned balance. I learned what I could give to others without losing self. I had finally found my voice. However, I didn't take that last step of self-love to the really important part, which is self acceptance. I needed to except myself for my flaws and still see beauty when I looked in the mirror. I needed to take that final step and silence those tapes running in my head and stop the negative self talk that has plagued me my whole life.

I know what the body will do when it feels unloved, unappreciated, now it's time to see how it will react to love, pure unconditional love and gratitude. Gratitude for all it has done to get me through a bad kidney in childhood, three hard pregnancies, three spinal surgeries and chronic pain. It has shouldered a great burden and it is now screaming "Enough! Love me, Accept me! Stop being so mean to me. I give you my All, just love me in return."

Thank you body,  I got the lesson. I am so very sorry for all the mean and hateful things I have said. I would never treat another person that way. When did it become okay to do it to you?

Healing is so hard, it comes in layers and I'm so grateful for the messages that are loud and clear.