When I heard about the controversy with Phil from Duck Dynasty and what was said about Christianity and homosexuality, I immediately thought - OK good, this will evoke a discussion among people and maybe someone might begin to see a different point of view. How wrong was I! Not only did people not want to budge on their views, but they set out attacking others who didn't agree with them. By the end of the day I felt so disheartened, sad and almost hopeless that humanity will ever get along. I had been told that bleeding hearts like me were what is wrong with the world and that all those wanting oneness and love were full of crap. Ouch to say the least, especially since one saying things was a relative. I just wanted people to open their hearts and see another's point of view. I didn't want people to be so mean and heartless. Good intentions? YES, absolutely. Full of ego? YES.... absolutely.
Once I stepped back I realized I had brought all my sad, heart broke, feelings unto myself. I became involved in the situation, inserted myself in people's beliefs. Since their actions didn't match with mine, it was painful. I had expectations, the first sign that ego is involved. If I had stayed the neutral observer, I would have realized that while I don't agree with people hating another, I can't change them. They are right where they need to be in their development at this point in time.
I woke the next day resolved that I would stay the neutral observer. That worked great until I posted something on Facebook and was met with a person who quotes the bible like a weapon. The discussion started off nice, but quickly deteriorated into - if you don't believe what I believe you are going to hell with all those homosexuals out there. That was when I should have walked away, deleted the thread and called it a day. Instead, guess who came out to play? Yup you guessed it. My ego. I didn't get upset or nasty, I just shared with him my view point on religion, that there are many paths to God. I even tried to explain the theory on reincarnation, on how we choose our lives etc. He was busy trying to change my mind and I was busing trying to change his. However, by trying to change someones mind I was implying that my path was better or the right one. Judgement is the ego.
Our role is not to change people, our role is to shine a light, open a door, it is up to the person to walk through that door. At that point we can share our wisdom, before that it is literally a waste of precious energy. I'm learning to be grateful for these moments when ego pops up because I am able to see where it was triggered and where I allowed myself to be engaged. From there I work on fixing my thinking.
What I learned from this Duck Dynasty pissing contest:
- Not everyone is nice, not everyone will get along. It's not my job to play referee. We are all here playing a role, learning a lesson. Those who play the "bad" roles in our society are also serving a greater purpose by exposing the disparity between their actions and actions filled with love.
- While I resonate with the belief that there are many paths to God, that belief does not always bring others peace. Many are still deeply rooted in religion and dogma and it is OK. They are right where they need to be for their soul growth as there are no mistakes. To push people out of their comfort zone is not only a waste of time but it could create fear in them, which could further close their mind from different thoughts.
- It is much safer and less painful to maintain the roll of the observer, to realize that this is all an illusion and we are all playing roles for our soul to learn.
