Healing with Intent and Visualization

Learning experiences come to us in all sorts of ways. My most recent one was an absolute revelation. A friend messaged me that she was feeling really low, paralyzed by emotion. Her heart chakra was in the process of clearing but the "stuff" just wasn't leaving her etheric field. She asked if I could send her some energy. I agreed and planned to go to my sacred space, go within and send her some energy. Just as I was planning to do this, my 5 year old woke and climbed into bed with me. As I snuggled her I made a plan for what I was going to do when I had a moment to slip away and get into that "space". I saw myself creating an energy ball in my mind and then throwing it and it slamming into her heart chakra dispersing all of the crap that had collected.

About a minute later, she messages me on facebook saying that I just nailed her with energy that snapped her head back and make her spin! She felt lighter and free of the gunk. I was just floored. Could it be that intention and visualization were enough? I was always taught that I had to go within, connect to source, get it to flow to my heart and then down through my hands. It changed how I viewed everything.  I then decided to write with my higher self to get greater clarity. The information I received was eye opening and changes much.


Is intent enough to send healing? Do I need to go into meditation?
You can send healing by just your intent and visualizations. Intent and trust that it works is enough.


Are you able to heal deeper when in mediation?
Depends on the situation. If you know what is wrong or are sending energy, mediation or sacred space is not necessary. If you are trying to assess the problem, meditation may help you do this on the etheric level.  As the energies open up, as you become more integrated with your higher self, you will need less and less ritual.  You will be able to access many levels at one time. These abilities will become second nature. 

What I learned from this Duck Dynasty pissing contest

It's funny how ego works, it is a sly, sly fox. Even when you have the best of intentions, it can pop up and the next thing you know you are triggered by it.

When I heard about the controversy with Phil from Duck Dynasty and what was said about Christianity and homosexuality, I immediately thought - OK good, this will evoke a discussion among people and maybe someone might begin to see a different point of view. How wrong was I! Not only did people not want to budge on their views, but they set out attacking others who didn't agree with them. By the end of the day I felt so disheartened, sad and almost hopeless that humanity will ever get along. I had been told that bleeding hearts like me were what is wrong with the world and that all those wanting oneness and love were full of crap. Ouch to say the least, especially since one saying things was a relative.  I just wanted people to open their hearts and see another's point of view. I didn't want people to be so mean and heartless. Good intentions? YES, absolutely. Full of ego? YES.... absolutely.

Once I stepped back I realized I had brought all my sad, heart broke, feelings unto myself. I became involved in the situation, inserted myself in people's beliefs. Since their actions didn't match with mine, it was painful. I had expectations, the first sign that ego is involved. If I had stayed the neutral observer, I would have realized that while I don't agree with people hating another, I can't change them. They are right where they need to be in their development at this point in time. 

I woke the next day resolved that I would stay the neutral observer. That worked great until I posted something on Facebook and was met with a person who quotes the bible like a weapon. The discussion started off nice, but quickly deteriorated into - if you don't believe what I believe you are going to hell with all those homosexuals out there. That was when I should have walked away, deleted the thread and called it a day. Instead, guess who came out to play? Yup you guessed it. My ego. I didn't get upset or nasty, I just shared with him my view point on religion, that there are many paths to God. I even tried to explain the theory on reincarnation, on how we choose our lives etc. He was busy trying to change my mind and I was busing trying to change his. However, by trying to change someones mind I was implying that my path was better or the right one. Judgement is the ego.  

Our role is not to change people, our role is to shine a light, open a door, it is up to the person to walk through that door. At that point we can share our wisdom, before that it is literally a waste of precious energy.  I'm learning to be grateful for these moments when ego pops up because I am able to see where it was triggered and where I allowed myself to be engaged. From there I work on fixing my thinking.  

What I learned from this Duck Dynasty pissing contest:

• Not everyone is nice, not everyone will get along. It's not my job to play referee. We are all here playing a role, learning a lesson. Those who play the "bad" roles in our society are also serving a greater purpose by exposing the disparity between their actions and actions filled with love. 

• While I resonate with the belief that there are many paths to God, that belief does not always bring others peace. Many are still deeply rooted in religion and dogma and it is OK. They are right where they need to be for their soul growth as there are no mistakes. To push people out of their comfort zone is not only a waste of time but it could create fear in them, which could further close their mind from different thoughts. 

• It is much safer and less painful to maintain the roll of the observer, to realize that this is all an illusion and we are all playing roles for our soul to learn. 

Conversations with Higher Self - 12/21/13

Explain to me my purpose, I feel so lost.

You are a Bridger. Once the waves of people leave the portals that are open now will not be as available or easy to access. You and others like you will guide them through the narrow bridge between the two worlds. You will see the earth's changes and how humans will act. You and those that follow the path of light will be guided and protected. You have to trust. If fear is allowed to take over... it is a choice they make. Many star people will stay until the last waves as their light is needed to balance the energies and hold light on the earth until the last soul is ready.  For those in the later waves, they have to keep their light high and not be overcome by fear. As you know, the bridge is long and narrow. One's light and conviction needs to be strong.  Stressing that this is an illusion is very important. If they lose this aspect that their higher self is safe and whole, they will fail. 


Why is my ego so big and being activated?

It is so that you can see where your weak moments are. Once you go back to observing you can see how it plays out and what different courses of action could have been taken. 


You tried to warn me, didn't you? (I had gotten involved in major debates recently)

Yes, (giggles) you didn't listen and instead plowed right into another ego debate. 


Why do I feel such pain from the collective? Seeing what man has done to each other and the animals, it hurts. I want to be normal and not feel so much.

There is no normal for you. (laughing). You are shown these things so that you can forgive man for all they have done. Keeping in mind that many were doing the best they knew how to do.


How do past lives work with all being in the NOW?

Aspects of self are experiencing the world on many different timelines and dimensions. This is all so that we can learn the most about ourselves, from the lowest to the highest. This is why forgiveness and realizing of judgement are so important. You are forgiving and transmuting the pain from other selves. 


Will I make it?

Ah, but you already have. 

Just what I wanted for Christmas - ego coming to say Hi

It's that time of year again, run around like crazy, buy gifts, plan the perfect dinner, make cookies, attend parties... on and on it goes.

This year I felt a distinct urge to unplug, to not really participate in the festivities. Decorating felt like a chore and I scaled down massively. I wonder if I didn't have a 5 year old running around if I would have made a big of a fuss as I did. That was last week....

This week I am wrapping presents, planning the dinner, and figuring out who will be where when during the holidays. Money is very tight this season and the budget for each person is smaller than it has ever been. I WAS OK with that. The kids will get what they need, maybe a small thing of what they want and I'll call it a day. Yet the past few days I have felt... inadequate. I feel bad that there is not much under the Christmas tree or that we won't be able to take a family trip sledding for the weekend.

My husband is on me hard to stick to the budget and says that I do this every year, I go over my budget with last minute stuff in this anxiety fueled buying/wrapping binge. You know what? He is right. I do, do this... why do I have this need in me to buy, buy, buy? I was able to cut back easily on the out of town family and I think it is because I don't have to see their face upon opening the gift. I don't have to imagine their disappointment over the small amount.  I was talking to my oldest about this and she said "Mom, there are presents under the tree for everyone. It is enough." So what in me makes me feel as if it is not?

We will be having a house full for Christmas, All four of my daughters, two of them will have boyfriends coming, and a soldier we became friends with last year. None of them are coming for the gifts. They are coming for the fun, the laughter, silly games, water fights, and a good dinner. Isn't that what the holidays are really about?

To not feel adequate is my negative ego popping up telling me that I am not good enough, that I need to go the extra mile to receive people's love. Such a nasty bugger that ego is. Just when I think I have silenced it, events pop up to challenge it all and cause me to examine my self again. This is programming that has been ingrained in me that things equal love. That if I am unable to provide things than it diminishes who I am as a person. Well I am screaming foul! This is bullshit! I no longer want to play this game nor feel this way.

Here's to containing myself from spending more and not feeling bad that I didn't.

Straddling two worlds

I woke this morning at 4 am, anxious, unsettled with my heart chakra just aching. When I feel this way I meditate and ground myself into the earth. Most of the time it helps. Today was not one of those times. Instead I feel stressed, exhausted, and on the verge of tears. Maybe I just need to let myself cry, let it all go.

When I feel like this I am tempted to get back on my antidepressants. I was on them for 17 years, they became a crutch that didn't allow me to feel all that I could. When I decided it was time to get off them, the sensations aimed at me were overwhelming. Meditation helps keep 90% of the sadness, anger, and anxiety away. I just have few skills to deal with the other 10% of the time.

The only thing I can think that set me off was a video I watched that I shouldn't have. It was about a couple that "trained" their dog to sit up in a begging position. In the video if the dog, a toy poodle, slouches, the owner kicks him across the room. I watched 2 minutes of it, but the video went on for at least 12 minutes. In the article that accompanied the video it stated that the toy poodle was eventually beaten to death and the couple has another little dog that is being "trained" as well. The couple is in Malaysia and authorities have been repeatedly contacted (this all started in 2010), no charges were filed and these "people" didn't lose their right to own an animal.

I shouldn't have watched the video, it made my heart hurt and I get so mad at the cruelness of man. I just don't get it. This is 3D thinking, this type of thinking causes emotional pain. From a 5D perspective, I know that the couple are just souls going through an experience and in this lifetime they chose to be abusive. 5D thinking doesn't say that this behavior is not wrong, IT IS; but it doesn't attach judgement to it. From this perspective I understand that these animals came in and chose to be here as well. Those dogs chose to suffer, maybe so that light will be shined on animal abuse.  However, the 3D side of me can't get that video out of my head, I can't help but FEEL pain and sadness for those babies. I can't help but feel anger at the arrogance of man to think that they can treat others in such a horrific manner.

I am still in Duality... don't know how to get out.

The ascension journey

I've decided that I need to chart my journey. So many changes over the past year. I'm not sure who I am anymore, but I think I know who I am becoming.

It's not easy to delve into your psyche, clean out all your shit, and find your true self and purpose. The world at large doesn't get it. To them you have gone insane, some sort of psychosis. The more I learn and the deeper I go, the more I want to go into a cave and hide from the world. Unfortunately this is what we can not do because we hold light that the world needs, some of us need to go out into the world and spread that light. Not an easy task.

I've learned that I take on people's emotions. That I often feel things that are not mine. I'm learning to clear my aura and field, but I'm not all there yet. I flip from a 3D perspective to a 5D one and this leaves me feeling hypocritical or as if there are two people in my body. The one good thing is that my time spent with the 5D perspective is increasing and I can hold it longer. I do think that I need to write it all down to show myself just how far I have come. These can be important on the dark days... for there are dark days. This is a lonely journey, I seek comfort in like minded people, but I know I am on my own.